With two children and rather busy lives Aaron and I don't get to spend as much time together as we'd like. It's something we both picked up on a few months back when we realised that, although we love each other very much, we'd both been neglecting to take some time out as a couple. Children and daily life can become all-consuming and I think we both reached a point where we sat back and though..."Where are we within this? Where is our time?"
We both go about our daily lives; Aaron is at work while I'm looking after the house and the children, and while we get to spend some time together each evening (when Aaron's not trying to catch up on work and I'm not trying to catch up on housework) it's just not the same as going out and just being us. It doesn't give us both some time away from everything to relax, to be ourselves and to be a couple without the 'distractions' of daily life. This is why we've both decided to try and get out of the house together more often. We're going to try and create some 'couple time' once a month or every two months (money is tight at the moment ya'know).
A large part of why we don't have much time to ourselves, that I feel is going to be a bit difficult to move past, is guilt. I feel awful asking family and friends to watch our children..especially if it's a frequent occurrence. I don't know why I feel this way but it's something that I struggle with; I think the main part of it is feeling like they are my responsibility and by asking someone else to look after them I'm almost 'dumping' them; I'm not doing everything I should be as a Mother. I know this links back to when Liam was Hospital and the almost crippling feelings of guilt I battled with when the Nurses had to do some of the things that I should have been doing (feeding, nappy changes, baths etc) when I wasn't able to be there. Another part of not taking some time out as a couple is that I feel very guilty for spending any time of money purely on myself or us.
I know these are both my issues and they seem to surround the feeling of guilt. It's something I'm going to have to simply push past because Aaron and I need some time to ourselves..even if it's only a few hours. And I think we both deserve it; Aaron works incredibly hard to keep a roof over our heads, food in our kitchen and to pay for all the vital things that we, as a family, need each month. And (this is hard for me to say of myself) I deserve it too; I work hard to keep our home nice, our children happy and learning and the day-to-day things ticking over.
With this in mind, Aaron took some time off work last week. Thursday we spent as a family but on Friday the children went to Pre-School in the morning so Aaron and I were able to enjoy our 1st full morning together in well over 3 years! We went into town, did a bit of shopping and held hands. That sounds silly doesn't it..holding hands. But it's something we rarely get to do these days as one or both of us often have a child, a buggy or a bag in our hands..it was lovely being able to simply walk together.
We stopped in a Cafe for a late breakfast and a drink and then carried on to visit a friend's shop. I think we both really enjoyed spending some time in each others company without the children or anything else distracting us. We were able to give our full attention to each other and it was wonderful.
So here's to many more little trips out as couple, trying to move past those feelings of guilt and making some more space in our lives for a little bit of 'couple time.'